Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown Owl
Do you think there is any chance of my T adapting to how I wish my therapy was? It's not really the emotions that are the issue - it is the fact of her not probing me to understand the things I say and not giving me more space to talk, not sitting with how things look to me for a while before she gives her thoughts, it's the fact of her thoughts being so dominant in there I feel overpowered. I have tried to ask for this, I don't know how well I expressed it. Her response was to suggest that I don't want to do therapy that I just want to talk as friends. This pissed me off somewhat. Despite my denial she continued to suggest this, at my final appointment she repeated this, saying I had a problem with being a client and then said 'you are my patient'. It was only after woods I thought how peculiar this was and felt a bit angry. She also suggested that I don't have faith in psychotherapy because my mother doesn't. This pissed me off too as I have huge faith in therapy.
I suppose there really is no chance of her adapting. Even now I think shall I go to see her one more time to try? But having written this it has reminded me why I decided this is not therapeutic anymore. Quitting is so so hard. I don't really want to quit. I have an appointment with a new T on Wednesday. She sounded nice on the phone.
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I'm not sure without knowing her, but it could be that she misunderstood you. My therapist has asked if he could change things to make therapy better for me, so I would imagine they should open to suggestion to some degree. My thought would be, maybe put it in a letter. Write out how you feel and revise and revise until you've said everything but laid it all out there in a non-accusatory, non-mean way, as rational as possible way. If you just lay out the facts for her, and send it to her, and then she still misunderstands it's on her and I would move on.
Sometimes I think I say something to my therapist but I really don't, so I trust writing more, it's black and white. Maybe with my past issues I've just been so terrified to speak my mind I'm not great at it now. I'll hint at something and it goes right over his head. I'm not saying that's what happened, but it's possible, and also possible she totally misheard you. I don't see why a therapist wouldn't want to pause and let you sit in the moment with your feelings, especially since she even said herself she thinks it's good for you to be feeling them.