Quote:
Originally Posted by introvertido
From what you wrote it seems to me that your co-worker is a narcissistic person, I think your assessment is correct, she was just seeking for attention/admiration to boost her ego. It’s a nasty manipulation/game that narcissists do. Narcissists are usually extroverted, very likeable by everybody, everybody considers them nice, they seem to others as charismatic persons. But this is just a mask they have.
“she doesn't see other peoples emotions very well”. Narcissists are incapable for empathy for others, they care only for the inflated sense of their own self-importance. Women often have narcissistic traits related to their appearance but your co-worker must be a full-blown narcissist.
We avoidants have usually low self-confidence and we are easy prey to narcissists. We crave for being accepted by others and when a seemingly charismatic person pays attention to us we easily idealize her/him. Narcissists know this and take advantage of this. A seemingly “perfect” person who shows extreme liking to us should raise our red flags that we may be dealing with a narcissist.
Sometimes avoidants can be overly friendly with others (as AzulOscuro said) perhaps in an attempt to overcompensate for being socially awkward or trying too hard to be nice so that others would like them. But avoidants generally have empathy for others. This is different from how narcissists behave.
|
This crossed my mind, but she doesn't crave admiration or doesn't try to be "larger than life". She can sometimes make jokes at her expense. I remember her saying that she was chubby before and that she could see it when looking at old pictures. The only situations that make her upset is looking stupid. She is also not THAT good looking, her personality and sweetness is what makes her look good. She dresses well, different clothes every day, not too much makeup, some nice jewelry, cute girlish voice.
The fact that I could be an easy prey for something "sinister" crossed my mind many times. It was really difficult while I was infatuated with her. I made a thread in a different forum a few weeks ago. I remembered it today and went there to read what I wrote about her, and my god it's full of paranoid thoughts and stories. The posts are full of desperation in an attempt to find a reason why this girl is acting that way toward me... "how can anyone like me, there must be some form of conspiracy behind this". Then in the end it all faded away and I accepted the fact that there may be something there. Only to realize that I am wrong.