If I don't get therapy soon, I feel like I'm seriously jeopardizing the two most important things in my life: relationship and career.

The problem is, due to anxiety, it's difficult if not impossible to call someone up to set up an appointment. And I often feel like they don't listen to me and are completely condescending to me.

I have some very rigid rules for therapists as well:
1. They must be female.
2. They must not be drug pushers and not mention me seeing a psychiatrist immediately. How can I feel safe to talk about my emotions if I know they will only throw pills at it?
3. They need to actually listen to me. As in, I have anxiety and I need to try CBT or something similar, but if I were to ask about that, I'm sure I'd just be ignored.

I also always get spooked within the first couple sessions with a therapist and can't return. Some of them don't even care or ask why I disappeared…so why would I ever go back?

I just need to know how to go about setting up appointments when the thought of having to do a phone interview bothers me and how do I get a therapist to actually listen and understand that someone with anxiety is likely to get spooked by them if they immediately attack them with medication or act condescending towards them?

Also, one of the therapists is a sex therapist and I have no idea how to initiate contact with her because the problem is so complex, confusing, and fills me with shame. I don't feel like I'm ever in a place with enough privacy to talk about these things during business hours. And even in my apartment where I might get some privacy, I don't get good enough reception to really understand what the other person is saying. Actually, that's why I hate phone interviews. I can't understand the other person, they're very uncomfortable, I always feel like someone can hear me, and they're kind of expensive compared to say e-mails.