I started the ball rolling today and fired off the first email in the list of things I need to do about my job. The email was to a support worker who can maybe help me, so out of the things I need to do it is probably the least risky. I am getting more and more anxious about the next one though as that will be to the Head of Service asking for a meeting. Once I've done that, there's no going back. There is this awful voice telling me that I'm only going to make matters worse or that at best I'll be patronised and given the pep talk that I need to take responsibility for my actions. The worst case scenario is that they disbelieve me and use my illness against me. I am afraid, I am depressed, I am anxious and I can't see a good ending to this at all.