I emailed T asking her if I could write down the important stuff re. calling the crisis line she works at and my fears around it and send it to her in an email that she would read at the beginning of our session before she comes to get me (so after our session has started, but she could come get me late, because I don't think I will be able to handle being in the room with her while she reads it).

I am panicking a bit right now. But I think I did what I had to do.