You raise an interesting point about what is more important: telling your therapist something or having her know something about you. I've found more benefit from telling something because the work (for me) is in the telling, not in the therapist's knowing in a passive way. Feelings and understanding surface from telling in person that just don't happen by writing them down for a therapist to know.

It does sound as though you are adamant that this is what's needed for now. Maybe at some point, you can push through those feelings and say what you need to in person. It's so much more helpful to you in the long run. But I understand the fear behind that.