It seems like the issue is more that she went to where you work (not your home) WITH her daughter to see her daughter's recital. And with her boyfriend, which would probably be loaded for you even if there wasn't the whole pdoc connection.

If she had gone to see a concert alone or with a friend, I wonder if you would be having this reaction. If not, I think that that is the crux of the issue-that when you get reminded of reality (that she has a daughter who is not you, and that she has a boyfriend and yes, a sex life) you can't handle it. So instead of staying in this super painful space and spinning around (because this issue will continue to exist regardless of whether specific things like this occur) why not DO something to bring about change in your life??

This whole situation truly sounds excruciating and I genuinely empathize-but why stay in it? That's what I don't understand.

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