I am struggling to find reasons why life is worth living. For a while, being in New Orleans seemed worthwhile. The past few days, the city seems dirty, old, crumbly, crime-ridden. I wonder why I am here. I wonder if I should go back to South Florida or on to Austin, where there are active Sufi communities. Sufis in S. Fla really supported me last year when so much bad happened, and I changed to that religion. The past few days, I haven't even been praying very much. I usually write three journal pages in the morning, but I couldn't today. Of course, there is no morning for me, because I am sleeping very late.

I don't know what to do or how to be in life.

The car repair is expensive -- so much money going out, nothing coming in.

Oh, yeah, this is Wants2Fly. The forums wouldn't let me log in as Wants2Fly this morning or send me a temporary password. I don't know what's going on with my account. Maybe I don't exist anymore.