It's not that your an ***, or a bad person for flipping out on her. It's that you are caught up in an unhealthy dynamic that is neither serving you, nor helping you to reach your goals. Your LC isn't helping you work towards your goals, and she isn't helping you work through your maternal transference. As the professional, a lot of this is on her. However (and I hear you when you say that you love her and its worth the pain) this is on you too. This is YOUR life. And as others have said, when your LC can't handle it anymore and pulls away, it's going to be a very bad situation unless you put a support system into place now.