So, as a woman, I don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling during intercourse. I know I'm not supposed to get an orgasm that way (but I can't get an orgasm in any way so it doesn't matter), but I can barely tell the difference between penetration or not. He's relatively big too, so I should be able to feel something right? Maybe he just can't fit in more than an inch or something? He says he's been unable to go in very far and he tends to lose hardness because he's hurt himself trying to get it in. And that leads me to what else might be the cause. Maybe he's not getting hard enough? I mean, I feel something when he just fingers me, but are fingers just harder than a penis? I've never had intercourse with anyone before so I don't know better. And this isn't a matter of we just find other things to do that I enjoy, because I have no idea what those are.

Anything using hands either hurts (no matter how gentle) or I don't feel anything. Same with oral. I have trouble touching myself now without discomfort, so it's not just him. He's gentle, I'm well lubricated, and I'm not on any psych meds, so I have no idea what's wrong. I just started a new birth control a couple months ago, but I was already having some issues before that. Maybe my expectations of sex were too high. I just figured I'd be able to have an orgasm since I can on my own…or at least feel something other than pain/discomfort. We were still thinking about seeing a sex therapist but wouldn't this be beyond them? Are some people just completely unable to actually enjoy sex? The weird thing is, is hasn't done much to deter my sex drive and we keep attempting various kinds of sex all the time despite me feeling more frustrated and less satisfied…

But for now, I just want to know what I'm supposed to feel in intercourse so I know if there's a problem or if my expectations are just too high. I have this feeling that he's not getting fully hard and losing even more when he penetrates me, but how would I know?