I have felt similar. I have contact with my ex-T and ex-counselor. When my life fell apart, I didn't want to tell them. I felt like I wasted their time and effort. That I disappointed them. So I didn't tell them...for 6 years. Once I started getting better, I finally told them the truth about those 6 years.

My ex-T's response:
"...You are a very determined young woman and I have faith that you will find your way in this world. I strongly believe that we all have a purpose and I approach life's challanges as just that...a challange and a opportunity for grownth. I encourage you to continue your growth and believe that you have a lot to offer. Keep your spirits up young lady, believe in yourself. Be purposeful in all that you do."

My ex-counselor's response:
"...I am glad that you are getting the support that you need to take care of yourself. Be proud of yourself and don't worry about making anyone else proud... I hope that you continue getting the care you need. And, please be patient with yourself."

Neither were disappointed in me. I was shocked. I was shocked that they even responded. But I realized that I wasn't failing anyone, and that by not reaching out I prolonged my suffering. I have a mental illness (hate that term btw). There's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm not causing any of this to happen.

I hope that you can reach out to your T and Pdoc. You have not done anything wrong, and you're not a disappointment. Don't cause yourself to suffer through this alone and any longer than you have to.