I personally think it depends upon one's sensitivity. The more sensitive one is, the more traumatizing events will be. I believe I was "traumatized" from watching a Steven King movie when I was really little. Gave me nightmares for months. Even to this day I do not like to watch scary movies because I am too sensitive and feel like the movie is actually happening to me. Like I can't tell the difference, like I can't separate from the movie and just watch it as an outsider. I experience. Comes with being a "total empath" (as my friend once called me and pointed out to me, maybe it is true).

It is important what you feel about it. It's okay to feel the way you do about it. Your experiences and feelings are valid, and you are seeking that outside validation. I do this too because oftentimes we did not get such validation in our childhoods about our situation and our feelings about it. I suggest you find a t who will at least work with you on this validation piece. It's very important for working through it from what I can tell. But to be honest, I haven't found this yet either. Closest I came was a class I was taking on "emotionally regulation and distress tolerance" (ie DBT) and also working with the therapist who taught the class. Well, the my mom and I are so enmeshed that she came to the class with me, and would ask me about what t and I discussed in therapy. My boundaries have always sucked- especially with mom- and so I would tell her all about what we talked about. Then she ended up telling the whole family at thanksgiving, "well [my name]'s therapist told her she needs to [do this]." I was horrified. I felt betrayed and ashamed and like I really wished I hadn't have told her. I ended up stopping going to those classes and seeing the t because I really didn't want my mom involved, but couldn't tell her. So I just stopped going. And in turn lost the closest I had ever come to getting that outside validation piece I think I need. Looking back on it, I don't even remember what it was the t told me to do that I ended up telling my mom about because she asked. All I remember is how it made me feel.

I still need to work on things that happened, and on boundaries, especially with my mom. She tries to pry - even now- into my life, and about therapy. I try to keep the wall up pretty solid. So far she will ask, "so are you still seeing your therapist," or "did you see your therapist" and I will say "yes" and not say any more. She has stopped there which is good. Cause I don't want to have to hurt her overly sensitive feelings by telling her it is not her business. My therapy is mine. She does not get to know what goes on there, or what I talk about, or every (any) detail of my life she just wants to know about. Some secrets are ok, some boundaries are ok. Privacy is at times necessary. My therapy is mine. And it is private. And it is not for her to know anything about. What she is really wondering is, "are you discussing me?" "Are you talking about me and what I did to you." The truth is, that yes of course I am talking about her, AND everything else.

It is really difficult because it's all about her. She always makes it all about her. It always has been about her.

Sorry for this big long post, didn't set out to write this. I'm really crazy like that. Easy to say my parents drive me crazy, have made me crazy. I feel I need a lot of help for how I am now. It's almost schizophrenic (does that have anything to do with trauma? Or is it just inherited?) It is very stressful and scary at times. I wish I could explain it. And I wish it would stop and go away. Maybe I just wish someone would just understand and tell me I'm not crazy. I heard that from one of my students yesterday - that the deepest human need is actually to be understood. Well I do with for that. And I wish my parents would just stop doing what they still are doing all the time to drive me crazy. It is worse sometimes more than others, but they do it all the time and sometimes I just don't notice. It is almost torture, but they haven't even done anything "traumatizing" I guess. My t asked in session, well did she draw blood? (Referring to what my mom did)... No. Well I have a scar but that's not important. That's not where the hurt and pain is. Why do t's think that you need to have blood drawn to have it traumatize you. That doesn't traumatize me, I used to cut myself and draw plenty of blood. Some traumas don't even leave a mark.

Again, sorry for the long post. Thanks for reading/listening this far if you did.