Quote:
Originally Posted by growlithing
You panic when you see your T in the hallway? Then it is also your own delusion that makes that situation difficult. It's not fair to pretend like it's anything different.
I just like to pretend she's my mother. I know she isn't, but what if I actually didn't know that? What if I had a break from reality and had legitimate delusions or hallucinations as plenty of people seem to like to paint this as. Would you really respond to my delusions by yelling at me over the Internet, telling me that I am deliberately trying to not get better and that I'm being "coddled" by people who are just affectionate to me? I highly doubt you would. This is a mental health site. You have no idea who I am or how lucid I am.
Now yes, I do know that she is genuinely not my mother. I know I'm just pretending to make myself feel better. But you don't know LCM at all so I don't know how you can go about saying I need to see her for who she is. You don't even know who she is.
Being patient and compassionate to someone who was abused and is working through stuff and maybe isn't doing the best job and falls down the same hole 50x isn't coddling.
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I wasn't yelling. I'm not angry. Frustrated, but not angry. As I wrote my posts, it was in a "voice" of calm yet assertive, and soft and caring.
You're right. I don't know you nor your LC. All I have to go off of is your posts. I go by what you write whether you're sober or not.
When I say delusional, I am referring to your view of someone who is not your mother as a mother. There are a lot of people here who suffer from transference. What you describe goes well beyond that.
As for me being delusional, that doesn't even make sense. Maybe irrational. I have agoraphobia. I also have suffered abandonment, abuse, and many other things. But that's not delusional no matter how you try to twist it.
I do have to say I'm proud of you. Really. I'm proud of you speaking up for yourself against me. I feel sad that it seems like nothing I wrote came across as caring. That being said, I still stand by what I wrote. But I'm happy for your reply. It shows me a different side of you...a very promising positive side.
But please, please tell us what will help you. Would describing some of my experiences help? So that you maybe can understand why I wrote some of the things that I write? Do you want me to ignore your actions, but validate your feelings? How can I (we) help?