hey pre

i know how ur feeling. i went thru the same situation. it will be 5 yrs soon since i reported him. the ways i deal with this is talking about it in therapy. my T and i have recently begun talking about it more and more despite my 4 yr effort to avoid it!!! but i have to say to finally talk about it to T now feels so relieving. i kept all of it inside for too long-- the guilt, the shame, the feelings of disgust for myself-- the hatred for my former T.. ive found it took me a long time to get from "i loved him why did i report??" to "i did the right thing. he took advantage of me and is a predator". what helped with that i think was mostly time. i know u said it's been 20 yrs , have u processed any of what happened with anyone?? i cant really talk about it to my mom or anything. it feels too uncomfortable. so thats why im glad i have my T to guide me and support me thru talking about it.

anyway i hope you come to terms with what happened. i know the struggle is so hard. remember that learning and growing and becoming healthier is not a linear path. there are ups and downs, progress and backtracking. im here for u