I don't see anyone condemning growli. What I see, and what I myself tend to post from, is the perspective that no one who makes the more "harsh" posts wants to contribute towards growli's problems. It's too easy to take the "aww I'm sorry you're feeling that way, it makes sense that you would" to be interpreted as somehow encouraging growli's clinginess to pretending that her LC is her mom. At least when it's posted as the sole content of a post.

People want to see you healthy growli. Which is why the sympathy for the pain you feel comes out sounding harsh, because any less than harsh can feel like encouraging your unhealthy decisions. We know you have them, we know we can't make you stop having them, but we can at least not encourage it. Instead we keep pointing it out because... it feels wrong not to. (And yes, I'm saying we a lot because I'm sure I'm not the only one).

You feel like people aren't being patient with you? If we weren't, we wouldn't still be posting to you as you've been in the same repeated behaviours since you met your LC. It takes a lot of patience to keep reading and trying to help you see that you're ultimately leading yourself to an even unhealthier life. And I am sure that I am not the only person who is very much more patient and compassionate in my responses to you than my brain initially thinks. Like Scarlet said, it is really frustrating to see you in denial that things are so unhealthy because it comes across crystal clear on this side of the screen.

And yes, in a way you really are trying to not get better - you've said flat out that you're refusing to look for a T. You're feeding in to your desire for your LC to be your mom instead of trying to form an actually genuine relationship with her. You do both of those by choice, and they're both really the opposite of helpful.