A few years ago my father (early 50s) was made redundant from his job. He has been unemployed for over 3 years now and there has been a drastic shift in his behaviour towards my mother and my family.

He has become really awful to live with. He rarely goes outside and he sits indoors all day and does nothing to help - he wont even go the store when we run out of food. His temper is ridiculous, he can launch into a full blown shouting match over something as trivial as the milk running out, and he constantly seems paranoid that people are attacking him, becoming extremely defensive and nasty.

My mother works a full time job and is their only source of income, and she is nearly always ill these days because of stress. She badly needs to reduce her hours, but she can't because my father just wont look for another job or even support her. He seems to have resigned himself to living this way and it is impossible to talk to him about it, because he blames everyone else and is adamant that we are all against him. He can't stand being criticized.

He hurts my mother with his words. She often becomes upset and is clearly under a great deal of strain. What on earth is wrong with him and why is he doing his? It's like he's just given up, but even though he has every opportunity to change he just wont. The strain he's put on our family is enormous and I'm really worried about my mother and how unhappy she is. I just don't know what to do.