Hi Pickle,

I can totally relate to that.

I spend many work-nights staring at the ceiling, and getting increasingly worked up every time I glance at the advancing clock. It totally sucks. But when I stay home, I make it worse, because 1. I sleep until some ungodly hour and screw up my schedule more. 2. I leave a backlog of stuff that needs to get done at work, making me even LESS inclined to go to work... and 3. I feel really guilty for being out of work, and that makes me want to hide and not go back just to avoid negative responses for my absence. Not to mention that if I'm at home for any prolonged period of time, I get even MORE depressed.

It's a hideous cycle. And it's a thing that happens with Depression. My solution? Hit snooze until the very last possible moment. Be at work even though it sucks, and i'm dizzy from fatigue, and then go home and crash early.

It's a battle people like you and me have to struggle with every day; that's why I'm so jealous of those jerks that can just hop out of bed and face the day with a smile; in fact, I want to boot them in the butt for it.

But when I read your post, I totally understood what you meant. I hope you sleep better tonight.