You guys literally do not know if she is making me sicker or not. You only know when I post here which is when something bad happens. If you haven't noticed, I haven't been posting here that frequently anymore. I have been doing a lot better.

I'm not obsessed with her. I don't really know how you guys are drawing that conclusion without projecting your own feelings onto it. Yes, a year ago, I probably was. I would have a session with her and dwell on it until the next time I saw her/spoke to her. Now, I think about her every day, but not constantly and not in an unhealthy way.

All of you are so afraid of being attached to your T's that you characterize mine unfairly as being delusional or sick. It isn't. I am allowing myself to occasionally address her as "mom" which is a word I do not understand. And for the record, the amount I have been doing that has been diminishing recently. It really is no different than any other maternal transference. Except you guys want to believe that because she might not legally be qualified to handle that, that makes it different. She's finishing up school. Her not being technically officially qualified makes no difference.

She is more than a life coach not because I'm trying to call her my mother. She is because we've barely done anything that a life coach does. She is a T to me. We don't work through trauma. We work through daily stuff and she listens to me if I need to talk. Her title is life coach but we do more than that.

I know our boundaries are weird to a lot of you and she has accidentally hurt me a few times. That's okay. Stuff like that happens. It's part of the progress.

Really she helps because I know she cares deeply about me. I need to have someone I can identify as caring about me.

She does not coddle me. And she isn't mean to me. Her boundaries are kinda sloppy. Everyone makes mistakes.

And my actual mother would have no idea if she's helping or not. She doesn't give a **** about me and doesn't really know me. She wouldn't be able to tell. So being upset that she's paying for it is odd to me.