Hi - I recognise this. I've had similar things and I agree with the person who said you've created an idealised image of perfection based on the idea that 'no one will ever care about you' - you think you've found that rare once-in-a-lifetime occurrence that someone cares about your wellbeing and that you're capable of strong feelings toward someone and you've latched on to it. You long for someone to give a **** about you, and you long to feel closeness with someone, and you have confused that longing with love.

I've done this. I was convinced for years that no one would be able to better my ex and I compared everyone to him. But to be honest, if you tried to ask me what was so great about him, I couldn't really give you any detail. I could remember a couple of things that were really nice, and other things that weren't - although I totally exonorated him for all of it. I didn't believe I was capable of strong feelings for anyone else, since that was the first time I had felt strongly for anyone. I eventually realised I had made him up. The man in my mind, who I longed for, was completely imaginary. My ex was nothing like him. What happened with me was not talking to him and not having contact with him actually made him seem perfect in my mind, as I was able to elevate him without actually speaking to him and finding out that he was just a normal person. I do this with people I don't know or people I won't know again, and the people who have said about casual acquaintances and obsession - it's probably the same thing. You're imagining a perfect person who will meet all of your desires. I've done it with celebrities too, although I wasn't quite a 'fan'. I had obsessive fantasies but was constantly aware they were of an imaginary person because I had never met the celebrity. It's more confusing when you have actually met them.

Trying to stop the thoughts will make it worse. Instead, accept the thoughts. But when they appear, remind yourself that you are longing for connection and to be loved and that you have made this person up, you are not longing for your teacher. She is merely a symbol in your mind.

I know your mind will try to persuade you this isn't true, but if you're like me then that's what's going on. The most bizarre bit is when it ends actually, and you bring that person to mind and think - Huh? What was all that about? There's nothing particularly interesting about them at all...

On the bright side, us lot have a great imagination