OMG, fortbliss!!! I feel SO badly for you! From my perspective, you are guilty of NOTHING except being MALE!!! Evolution made it such that men ensure the survival of their genetic material by spreading their seed as widely as possible. So we men are programmed to want to have sex with anything & everything that moves... especially if it is wearing a skirt! It's society that dictates that men adhere to the principles of monogamy. Not that this is a bad idea, in the whole scheme of things... But it's not really how evolution has pre-programmed us. I don't think women, in general, realize just how strong most men's sex drive really is. How could they? They don't have it. Of course, I'm sure there are exceptions. There are exceptions to everything. But, as a rule, evolution has dictated that in order to ensure the survival of their genetic material, men spread their seed as widely as possible, & women preserve the family unit to the greatest extent possible in order to ensure that the children they bear grow up to reproduce themselves, and on and on...

It is not your fault that your GF's ex cheated on her. That was a different relationship. And if she has not been able to leave it behind, then this is something that it is appropriate for her to work on with her therapist. And, of course, you want to be sensitive to her needs & be as helpful as possible. But, based on what you wrote, it sounds to me as though you have become the whipping post for her past disappointments. And apparently you're now watching a video that is reinforcing the guilt & shame that is being heaped upon you. At some point, I fear, you are going to begin to unravel as a result of carrying around this huge ball of shame that is being rolled for you.

From my perspective, the only unfortunate part of this whole thing, to begin with, was that it sounds as though there was perhaps a lack of forthright communication between you & your GF from the beginning. I wouldn't fault either of you for this. These sorts of things are difficult for couples to talk about in general. And this brings me to the question of what to do now. First, stop feeling so darn guilty! You're a man! All you did was look at some pictures on the computer, for cripes sake! (Well... okay... maybe you even masturbated to them... geeze!) Have you been soliciting prostitutes? Have you become hooked on child pornography? Have you sexually abused children? Okay, then maybe there's something to feel ashamed of. But looking at pictures on the computer? At this point, simply realize that there has been a lack of communication between the two of you & that both of you need to learn how to communicate more openly & honestly. But, PLEASE, stop beating yourself up, fortbliss! Oh... & if I were you, I'd take back my computer... gently...