Divine - you acted out your obsession in real life. Growli is acting hers out in therapy, and will have the opportunity to work it out. I know my previous t would have GREATLY preferred i acted out more in therapy, rather than come in on a monday and announce i got married over the weekend, without ever mentioning my plans to t beforehand. Its not the details of what happened - oh, she cried and went home from work - that is important. Because lets face it, we both have her beat on that account. Its the big picture. She is working it out with her t. I was still in the mode of treating my t like my actual mother - "what i do doesnt concern you" because that was the message she gave me from day 1 - that what i needed didnt concern her. My current t - EVERYTHING about me concerns him. Its reparative. We need it for as long as we need it, then we learn to walk on our own.