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Old Feb 02, 2015, 07:01 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 23,235
Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster View Post
Divine - you acted out your obsession in real life. Growli is acting hers out in therapy, and will have the opportunity to work it out. I know my previous t would have GREATLY preferred i acted out more in therapy, rather than come in on a monday and announce i got married over the weekend, without ever mentioning my plans to t beforehand. Its not the details of what happened - oh, she cried and went home from work - that is important. Because lets face it, we both have her beat on that account. Its the big picture. She is working it out with her t. I was still in the mode of treating my t like my actual mother - "what i do doesnt concern you" because that was the message she gave me from day 1 - that what i needed didnt concern her. My current t - EVERYTHING about me concerns him. Its reparative. We need it for as long as we need it, then we learn to walk on our own.

She isn't in therapy. This person isn't a therapist. Sure she acts it out in real life.

She cries so bad at her work place that she is asked to leave and then goes home and drinks half a bottle of vodka. That is as acting out in real life as it can be among other things she described.

I actually am in therapy but started fairly recently. I am sharing my experience to show her That I understand unhealthy thinking and attachments. Sooner she starts to heal better she will get.

I can't just sit here and say what she is doing is fine and dandy. I care about people. If anyone in my family drank like this and otherwise self-destruct, I would be heart broken, this isn't ok.

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Thanks for this!
scorpiosis37