Also I forgot to add, I use to get major anxiety before each appointment that I would SI right before I'd go in. It was super awkward sitting there with a wad of tissues under my sleeve every week. There was also one time she double booked and sent me home and it upset me so much the I SI to the point of needing stitches. So I understand how you felt the need to go home and drink but no one, especially a mental health provider, should make you feel the need to do that.