I have experienced this, for most of my life, until it became a crisis and now I can't stop feeling things about the past that have resurfaced in very real ways today. All those years, I would sit in therapy and say little or nothing, or list the things that happened like I was reading a menu. It didn't do any good until I found the right therapist and could connect what was happening in my life today to what happened long ago.

You've posted before about tremendous anxiety. Could you start with that? Even if you don't have anything specific to say that connects the past events to current anxiety, can you at least talk about today's challenges and the emotional rollercoaster (mania from a while back)?