Dear people, I'm feeling ashamed and weird... I know it's absurd to worry so much about this but I can't stop brooding.. ... I'd be happy if you'd like to listen to this for a moment..! Allright, here comes my ridiculous story :

Tonight I texted my best female friend if I could pass by (we live close to each other) to bring her some stuff she left in my house.
She said, better not not now cause she's about to leave with her boyfriend to his house (they are visiting each other very often)
Allright! So i texted her that I'll drop by Wednesday then when she'll be back, wished her lots of fun at her boyfriend's house and told her to send a hug from me to him.
I was in not such a serious mood, wanted to make her laugh or smile with something absurd. So after that text message I sent another one with some dry advice: ''And use a condom''.

She didn't get it...probably she thought it's weird! The rest of the text conversation: (translated into english)
(a few minutes later) Condom?
(me) Yes, advice for in bed. Do it, ok?
(she) Ok :-) sleep well xx
(me) ^^ good night xx


I regret having typed such a silly message...embarrassing. Kidding about ''Use a condom!'' could be misinterpreted as ''childish'' or ''a bit sexually obsessed'' (none of them I am). Maybe she was having a deep conversation with her man, or tired, and then she gets such a meaningless, weird message from me.

She is very special, wise, famous, a genius. (in her late thirties, her boyfriend older, I'm in my mid twenties).
We usually have exact the same kind of humor and like to laugh a lot with each other. But in this case I should have kept my mouth because I still want to be taken seriously in general, and it's a text message which can be misinterpreted (by not hearing and seeing each other's facial expressions and body language). When seeing and hearing each other of course it's different, easier to feel and predict whether it fits to joke around or better not if she's in a different mood, and if it's going to be funny probably or not. I remember f.e. when I was kissing my former lover in front of the guy's room at night, a friend shouted ''Use a condom!!'' to us...

I know it might be ridiculous to worry and analyse about such a small thing...I'm usually self-confident and not worrying so much about possible 'mistakes' in social interactions anymore...But I'm a highly sensitive person and still pretty much a social perfectionist.
This friendship means so much to me, we are soulmates, sisters and recently started to work together as performing & creating artists as well <3 ..I'm not afraid to lose her, I'm sure our friendship will last forever.
But sometimes, like in this moment, I'm just afraid she will change her perception of me, which could change our contact. If it would, even a little bit (like more distance) I'll be sad... because we have this special, wonderful connection.


What do you think about my stupid text message and this context, honestly?? # trying to sleep but worrying instead #