Hi ticktock4: I am an older male who is has struggled with being transgendered (MtF transsexual) all of my life. However, I've always lived a pretty-much normal male life, for the most part. (It's a long story.) However, I find that my transsexual yearnings are triggered, sometimes unexpectedly by particular pictures of women, videos (such as on YouTube), & sometimes by women IRL I encounter. And it's not necessarily pictures, etc. that are of a sexual nature. It's often just a picture, etc. that is pretty-much just run-of-the-mill, as the saying goes. But there's something about it that triggers me.

Anyway, long story short, I am a student of the ancient Tibetan Buddhist practices called "Lojong", as taught today by the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön. (See my signature quote below.) Basically what this involves is accepting what comes to mind with lovingkindness & compassion, acknowledging it, & then letting it drift off of its own accord. This is how I handle the thoughts that come up when I am triggered. It works for me... for the most part...

Of course, another thing I try to do is to simply not expose myself to things that I suspect are likely to trigger me. I have a YouTube channel & I have dropped my subscription to other YouTubers' channels in the past, when they began uploading overtly sexual material, because this can also be triggering for me. My father used to say: "What the eye don't see, the heart don't grieve for!" (He loved sayings... as do I...)

There is also a form of therapy called: "systematic desensitization". In this type of therapy a person is gradually exposed to increasing amounts of whatever it is they are afraid of so as not to arouse their fears. The length & degree of this exposure is slowly increased over time until the person is able to conquer, or at least manage their fears. This type of therapy is often provided to individuals who have become so fearful they cannot leave their homes. I would imagine that something like this might work in your situation as well. Of course, you would need to find a therapist, or program, that is experienced with the implementation of this type of therapy. But it might be worth looking into. My best wishes to you.