I just hope you will be able to find some way of processing your pain in such way that it can get released to some extend little by little..or to channel it into something that also might help it get processed and released..Some people find creative channeling helpful..like writing, painting..Some dark things can come out of it, but it's good because when they come out, they are no longer in your system.

I found bodywork very helpful and grounding, and also anything that helps me to go back into my body and to feel physically alive..walking barefoot on the grass or on the sand, being outdoors in general and getting a lot of sunlight..all these things take me out of my head and ground me..Every time I do it, the dark feelings don't have control over me and that feels good.

I think, if we want some healing to take place, we have to find some activities that facilitate it. It may feel like a little push and it's the last thing we want to do when we are in the dark place, but that push is necessary for the healing process even to get started. The conditions have to be created for our mind-body system to heal itself naturally, and that requires some intentional actions on our part.

Just talking to somebody, whether it's a therapist or anyone else, wasn't helpful to me. I tried many different things outside of therapy and they helped me much more.