I think maybe you can be just friends with him but not lovers , if your doing all the work u will be burned out .

Just be a friend to him , you need someone who is a partner not just someone who is a caretaker to him .

And if he dose not like anyone telling him what to do then that means it's his way or the highway .
That means what you want he will not do .

My opinion is do not go back to being his lover , just ask to be friends with him