I understand about you wanting your LC to see you at the top of your game. I know a lot of people get depressed and don't shower, etc... I'm the complete opposite. I have to be/smell clean when I'm at work, or at appts, whatever. I can go the weekend without doing anything, if I'm not seeing anyone outside of my house. So I understand wanting to look/be the best you can.

I cannot be critical...my heart really goes out to you. However, sometimes when we're in the moment we can't see clearly, can't see from the outside looking in. You may not want to hear this, but don't you think, if your parents are paying for her, there's got to be some feelings for you there. If they truly didn't care, I can't see why they'd pay for this. My mom and I had a really bad relationship and there are things I just can't forgive and forget and move on, but I know she loves me. I may not want to admit that to myself sometimes, and may feel angry instead by the thought, but I can't stop how she feels. But...you said your parents ARE paying for LC, that's a start! Again, sorry if I offend, I do understand that angry feeling because I have it too, but sometimes it helps coming from someone on the outside. So you get to see her today? You'll have to let us know how it goes.