Bill3 -

This is the hardest for me to deal with when I am in a state of depression. Unfortunately for me there are photo's of his family members hanging on my walls and a few photo albums in my dining room with him in them which makes it a little difficult not to think about. Most of the time the thoughts are just a passing and I move on but when I am in this state I seem to focus on them. Also when I am in this state my wife thinks that this is my only problem and the reason I am depressed. This thinking is false. This causes her to withdraw from me physically and emotionally. That in turn makes my depression worse. It is a vicious cycle it seems.

She has not seen him since 2008. His brother is getting married next year. My wife brought this subject up and was upset with me saying she felt like she couldn't go. I told her I am fine with her or all of us going but if there is going to be a time when we will be socializing with this guy or that side of the family I will take the kids and go do something else. She doesn't like this. For my emotional well being and the fact that this guy is a dirt bag with the looks he gives and his attitude I think this is fair.

Chipper Monkey -

I wish I could do that but that is not my personality. I still love my wife and just wish she would respect my boundary. I do not agree with the way she thinks about the sex that her and this cousin shared and I am pretty sure the reason she wants it to be OK is because she probably feels shame. Yeah, I do get tired of hearing all of the justifications and reasons why it was OK though and it does make me a little disappointed in my wife that she so desperately wants it to be OK. I don't know. I am almost ready to throw in the towel.