Letting go of built up resentment is such a difficult step in relationships. It's understandable that you'd lack interest in taking your steps forward.
Does seem, focusing on your own depression, right now, is healthy for you.
Opening up to trained clinicians, whether a pdoc or talk therapist, isn't usually easy, at first. Those professional/therapeutic relationships can build, over time. I've found, that if I don't feel talkative or know what to say, they guide and will ask questions, not overly probing questions, but questions, nonetheless.
I have access to some of my medical records through a portal service that they provide at my neuro/&pdoc's office. There wasn't immediacy, that I can see in any type of labeling. Even, at that, depression is depression and anxiety is anxiety. Important is more that, overtime, I've felt better about myself and my life. I keep an eye on my depression, helps having become a more informed and aware patient.
Maybe going can help you in your marriage and with your wife? Important is that, overtime, at least, you will be well.
Glad to see you back.

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