I understand you're not there yet and may never be there... but one day a relationship with your biological mother might exist.


My parents neglected me my entire childhood. I was a shy child with a great imagination, so I guess they assumed I was fine. Due to family dynamics, I was rejected by my mom pretty early on. She was my worst enemy. She sent me to live with my grandma after I got out of the crisis house at age 14. My dad brought me back after 2 months. My mom was so pissed, she took my little sister and left my dad (only lasted 6 months ). Fast forward to age 18 when my mom kicked me out. The 3 reasons she kicked me out: because she wanted my little sister to have her own room, my dad didn't have to pay child support for me, and because I didn't get a job (...was in the hospital for a breakdown).


I processed my issues with my mom in therapy. I no longer cry over it. Facts are simply facts now and I can talk about my past with my mom without any distress. I was able to process so well, that I was able to reach out to my mom. [Skipping the how part]...my mom and I are really good friends. I see her weekly. I might lose her again, but I'm aware of the main reason I would and am prepared for if that ever happened.


Btw...my parents believed money=love. My mom is poor now, so she doesn't do that anymore And I haven't spoken to my dad in 9 years. But this belief is exactly way I hate holiday/b-day gifting to adults. It was so bad that each kid got the same $ amount for gifts, and we were required to spend a certain amount of money on a gift once we were an adult.


My mom does have my forgiveness and she has my love (it's what I choose for me). But she lost something... a daughter. We do not have a mother/daughter relationship. I call her mom because that's what I've always called her, but she is not my mom and never will be.


I guess I'm trying to say that people and life might just surprise you. Or sometimes it can be predictable. Though the most important person in your life is you. But I can relate to having a crappy mom.