I understand this sentiment. I am the same way about my mum. She did lots wrong, there are lots of things I say about her and others can say about how she treats me and yet I'll defend her to the death and love her greatly./

I guess the difference is that I know deep down her behaviour is not acceptable and I need to break away.

Confusing emotions for sure.I think where it sounds like everyone is yelling and being frustrated is that they want better treatment for you. You deserve good things.