Just an hour ago, I felt at my lowest of lows, unbelieveably terrible, I went to my room and started to cry. As a coping method, I listen to music, usually Kirk Franklin, songs that I feel pertain to me, but nothing seemed to help, I wished myself to sleep till the nightmare stopped. My mom woke me up awhile ago to pester me about what was wrong. So i got up and walked to my computer, where my itunes was open.
Right there I saw the song, You'll never walk alone, recently done by Jordin Sparks. A peace has immediately fell, and I dont feel as yucky as I did a lil while ago.
My head and tummy still hurt from the panic attack then dissociation I induced. But Im up now and I feel a little less chaotic.
Something moved me, not that I concentrated on every word, but something in there, drew me to an inner peace, and in inner faith that one day things will get better. And right now someone has me in their gentle arms holding me, till I can stand on my feet again.
"When you walk through a storm keep your head up high and don't be afraid of the dark. At the end of the storm is a golden sky and the sweet silver song of a lark. Walk on through the wind, walk on through the rain. Though your dreams be tossed and blown. Walk on, walk on, with all in your heart and you'll never walk alone. You'll never walk alone."
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Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.
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