I guess I probably look like I'm being lazy/dependent. I'm sorry! The reason I posted here is I figured there are people who might have had some sort of education on this type of stuff and I'd like to be able to have conversations with people if they've had any personal experiences with it. I've tried searching for it in the past, a lot, but I generally don't get any helpful results and at this point I wouldn't really know what to search for. Thanks anyways for the offer

To be more specific, I was molested when I was little and I think that's related to this problem, although I don't really know how realistic that is. As far as I can remember, I've always pretended in my mind that I'm other people and I've never had an identity of my own, except for an idealized or diminished version of myself.

I sort of feel like I'm not my natural self and I don't really know what a natural self would look like. I'm very curious how other's self perception is and would really appreciate it if someone decided to elaborate a little bit on how they perceive themselves, or how a healthy individual should normally perceive themselves.

As I said earlier, I have very high ideals for myself and always seem to find something about myself I'd like to work on to help better myself, even if it's becoming more naturally me. I have a weird level of confidence, in that I normally think really highly of myself when I look in the mirror or look at a piece of artwork I've created, but I don't normally feel like I'm really as special as I originally see myself and feel like there's always something wrong with me.

My initial reaction upon hearing about a mental problem, or an undesirable attribute, or a disease, would be to assume that I have that problem until I can prove to myself otherwise. I also have genetic OCD, so it could be related to that. But is it normal for people to have that reaction? I don't see most people reacting that way.

I think the best problem summary I've been able to come up with is that I have a very static view of myself, whereas most people seem to have a more dynamic and reasonable ego. I'll look at myself in a moment and that opinion that I form in that moment is constantly changing. When other people seem to think about their self image it doesn't seem to change this rapidly. So I suppose what I would like to know is, does this sound like any particular disorder? Or could it be how I naturally am?

I've always pretended in my mind that I'm other people and I've never had an identity of my own, except for an idealized or diminished version of myself.