guyssssssssssssss today was so good.

i saw T at 10 . then i saw the nurse practitioner in the same building. T wrote her a letter about me and my meds and stuff. i spent an hour with her and she asked A LOT of questions. she kept saying that i seemed reserved and anxious. i kept trying to explain to her that its because shes new to me. at the end she said something about treating it with meds. ?? i was like no, its just bc ur new and my history of abuse makes me this way. idk if she understood me i mean i even told her about my dad and former T!!! anyway other than that she was really nice.

we decided that i am going to start taking 6mg invega pills every day then in 2-3 weeks when my shot starts wearing off start taking 9mg or 12mg invega pills every day. she said the reason the pills werent that effective when i was taking them as PRNs is because it takes about 5 days for it to get in ur system and i should have been taking them all at once not every 1 every 3 or 4 hours!!! i didnt know that!!! then HOPEFULLY things will work out awesomely and i wont need to get another shot EVER!!!!

i am nervous about it cuz i dont want to get in a bad place again or anything like that so i am going to be really honest with T throughout this whole process. i know the whole reason i was put on the shots was because i wouldnt take my pills mostly bc the voices freaked out if i did. i would also lie to T and tell him that i wasnt hearing voices if he asked me but he could usually figure it out anyway if i was lying :P . so i feel really great that T is trusting me with pills again.

i just REALLY HOPE that all this works out. like really. i want it to so bad.

i think this is the longest post ive ever written. today was just a really good day. PS i made a 100 on that test with the essay questions!!!

OK IM DONE BABBLING!!!!!!