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what does trust even mean?

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That is such a great question, gerber.

I went through different levels of trust with my T. It didn't all come at once. Really early on, we wanted to do EMDR on some really intense childhood memories I had recovered. But I wasn't able to. It surprised me. But T was not surprised. He said it's early yet. He knew we didn't have enough trust yet. He knew way more than I did about our relationship. Later I could do this with him. Then we were together quite a bit longer and I thought wow, I really trust this guy. And then all this other stuff started coming out. I had kept it from him but hadn't really done it intentionally. It was just that I didn't trust him enough. And when I did, the stuff came out. T knew what was going on. I didn't. And finally, our latest breakthrough was my trusting him enough to bring in my husband for couples therapy with me. I never thought I would do this, ever. And I told T this quite a few times. I got stressed out just thinking about the possibility. Then one day I completely changed my mind on that and trusted T enough to bring in my husband. The growing trust has been kind of magical. I wonder if there are still more trust breakthroughs to be made? I keep thinking, how much more can I trust this guy, but there always seems to be a new level. I think he knows all this. I don't. Gerber, I bet your T knows too. Why not have a "trust" discussion with him and ask him your questions, such as why he thinks you don't trust him when you think you do?