hi hopelessdepression
i was depressed for over 30 years before i got help. i had to resort to chemicals too and was very resentful of that but they saved my life. totally turned it around. its amazing how different life is now. not all therapists are bad. you just have to keep trying until you find the right fit and then its great. dont give up. and i have done fine without god forever. as far as i am concerned he abandoned me. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome