I'm not sure if anyone else has had to deal with this, I'm sure some must have?

Today it became real that my therapist is going to be leaving and it has thrown me in to a real....spiral. I feel so threatened, and all of these emotions surface that I need to keep shoving down so that I can get through it.

Abandonment, rejection, fear....I can't even name what I am feeling. Sick with panic, then nothing. But when I begin to feel....all these memories of other times people have left when I needed them, or when no one was there when I needed them...al those other times of pain.......

I'm not really making much sense right now, sorry. But I am in a mess really and wondering........how do you deal with this.

Also.........it is not ok! I am soo upset, no angry! Sad, hurt, ANGRY! The anger is protective, I know, I was quite rude to my therapist today.......but it protects me a little.

Sorry.........this is just a rant!