So daydreams can just flit into your mind and you're often not totally aware you're having it at first. This daydream differed from my OCD-related intrusive thoughts- I wasn't really in an anxious state of mind, although I have been pretty anxious lately and have been stressing about the impact my OCD may have on my relationship.

I was playing minecraft, when I started daydreaming that my boyfriend and I had broken up. I was thinking about a conversation my boyfriend was having with someone else, and the daydream ended with my boyfriend deciding to commit suicide, before I realized what I was thinking.

This horrifies me. I LOVE my boyfriend. I love him a TON. I'd like to think I wouldn't ever want anything bad to happen to him.

But if daydreams reveal something about our unconscious mind... does this mean that some part of me would be happy if the daydream came true? That some part of me wants it to happen?

Or does it mean that I'm so egotistical and self absorbed that I think I'm so special he couldn't stand to lose me and would decide he can't live without me?

I feel like a terrible person, and I want so badly for this not to be true. I don't WANT to want that. But why would I daydream it, in a state of calm, when I was free of anxiety?

I'm always afraid of being a bad person who cares only about myself, and I hate how my mental health issues can make situations all about me... But again, this was a calm, normal daydream, not fear-induced anxiety-related thoughts. So what does it mean???! Please help.