I am glad you are not staying alone while you are so vulnerable but I am concerned that it may not be enough to keep you truly safe. I just OD'd on Lithium at my parents house while they were there. My self-destructive part of my brain can get really sneaky sometimes. Please take yourself to emergency if you have the urge to end your life because it only takes one minute of being actively suicidal to die. Don't worry too much about the Zyprexa. I am currently on 20mg and have had few cravings. Everyone is different though but i wanted you to know it is possible to take that med without weight gain. Take care