I don't deserve any support or kindness from anywhere but I appreciate it. I used to strive to be good enough, to be a good person, but everything I do is a waste and only backfires.

I was striving to be a "good person," I've never hacked a computer, never browsed adult sites (until now), I never bullied anyone at school, never did any street drugs, never was violent against another individual, had a strong sense of right and wrong, but whoopee, none of that paid off. Now I completely lost my conscience. I still know right from wrong, but no longer giving a **** because strong guilt and shame ate my entire spirit alive. Now I am demoralized, lost all sense of myself, even lost complete interest in being loved.

My mental health is at a very steep decline like never before, and I feel like I will eventually commit some heinous felony if nothing gets better. And people say sociopaths are born and not created? I developed from a good, moral person to a devious freak.

I am just a complete moral failure. I used to be a good person with a strong sense of morals and strive to be good enough, but that all went to waste. Now I am in despair and darkness, wallowing in the torments of guilt and shame with no ray of hope. Nobody in the real world understands, just blames me all the more. I don't deserve any support but I really desire it and appreciate it.