I suspect the root cause is genetic, in fact thats been borne out by our oldest child suffering from severe depression and nearly ending ending her life, unfortunately she is now severely disabled because of a failed suicide attempt. I cry every day for her and her lost life. Thats something else thats my fault, as a father i didnt keep her safe and thats the worst sin of all, the one thing I should have been good at and I failed. If not for her i wouldnt be here, but Im tired, nothing is changing or getting better. My wife exists as her carer, until recently at least I had work. The depression i have been coping with for years but I cant stand the guilt and helplessness