----------trigger warning---------------

saw pdoc a few hours ago. i couldnt bring myself to tell him about my ultimate plans of sui. that i am trying to make it as foolproof as possible...
i am tired of everything. i dont feel like continuing on with this battle anymore.

i don't know why i just keep doing - it's like as if i am running on autopilot mode. i don't see any meaning to what i am doing anymore. sure i may be high functioning, but i just dont know why i keep doing things. i just want to drop everything and retreat to bed for once.