Hi there,

I'm a big isolator which is funny because I can also talk easily with people.

I was talking to my AA sponsor tonight and she was telling me about her weekend. She went kayaking Saturday morning on a date saturday night, then went to Cape Cod on Sunday. They spent the day bike riding, had dinner, spent the night in a bed and breakfast and the next day went walking around to all the shops.

By the time she finished telling me this I was in tears telling her I wish I could have fun. She said I need to enjoy life and have fun - I said I wish I could. She said even people who are dying can look out a window and see beautiful trees and sun and feel happy.

What she told me totally pissed me off, but was valid at the same time. She said that I keep saying I can't do things because of physical limitations. That I'm grieving for the fact that I will have chronic pain for the rest of my life and that people go through it in different ways. Basically the next thing she said is that I feel sorry for myself.

I didn't tell her I was mad but I was and it made me so sad. I am so depressed that I am lonely, yet I stay home and don't go out, so how can I expect to meet people???? I intellectually know what I have to do, but doing it is an entirely different thing.

I guess what makes it harder is that I do have physical limitations so there are alot of things I can't do, but I've got to find things that I can do.

What are others thoughts on their isolation??? How do you get out of it?

Tranquility