Sorry to hear about your struggle. It sounds painful to me.
I had trouble talking to people. I found that I could argue with myself and tell myself to look at the beautiful sky until I was blue in the face. It didn't seem to get me to enjoy what was around me. Sometimes a person is so tied up in their own emotional pain that one can't have fun. It becomes hard to focus on what others are saying. I had trouble trying to connect with others.
I wish I could tell you how to fix it. For me, the AD helped my mind to be able to feel happy again and then I tried to find more fun things to do. Before the AD, I would watch a movie and get sad immediately afterwards. I joked that I had the worst three year old to care for ever-me. It was almost impossible to entertain myself.
I hope you find a way to feel better. I hope you have a T too.