Quote:
Originally Posted by hvert
This was my experience as well. At this point, I really resent my parents for that. I feel like I missed out on forming relationships with my own peer group. My friendships weren't as strong as they should have been because I was too busy being friends with my mother, who discouraged me from taking steps that would have taken me away from her (going away to college, learning how to drive, moving out).
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all of these experiences mirror my own.
my entire reason for seeking out the ACoA community is because my marriage has fallen apart and i have no real friends or relationship to speak of to help me get through the divorce.
i'm slowly learning that the reason i don't have close relationships is because i never learned how to develop them as a child.
my family went from wealthy and social to bankrupt and isolated when i was 9. my parents taught me shame and to hide from any and all social situations. when my parents relationship was rocky because of my dads drinking i became my moms therapist. i was told all kinds of things i shouldn't know as a kid and it still haunts me to this day...and i'm in my 30s.
i'm trying to figure out how to let it go and learn to develop close relationships with people.. ones that don't involve me saving them from whatever emotional crisis they happen to be in that i willingly envelope myself in so i don't have to address my own issues.