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Welcome! You are definitely not alone here.
Life is a journey and so is BP. A lifetime learning experience that you can live with. Glad you made the first step of seeking help.
You don't have to apologize for your feelings here, they are welcomed. Through honesty we receive the best advice.
Welcome.
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General miscellany of Dxs. Due to concentration issues, I can only focus on one at a time.  
Head Meds: Zoloft 200mg am, Trazodone 100mg hs, Clorazepate 7.5mg prn.
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