I've been seeing my T for about 10 months. Two months ago we had a major falling out that we managed to somewhat fix.

Anyway, I had previously googled her and hadn't found much: her facebook page is locked and except for some information about what she did prior to becoming a T, there's not much online.

So what did I do? I googled her kids. It wasn't difficult to find that information and the first results on Google were their Facebook accounts. They're completely open, no privacy settings whatsoever.

That's when I became obsessed and that's why it's hurting me.
She has two sons, they're ten years younger than I am (I'm 28) and I hate them. I can't help myself.
I know i's awful, I know I shouldn't do this, I know. The more I look at their Facebook pages and their Instagram (because, *of course* one of her sons has an Instagram account full of pictures of him and his girlfriend looking like movie stars), the more I compare myself to them, the more I feel like absolute *****. I want to quit.

They seem to have perfect lives with perfect parents and perfect teenage years. Meanwhile I hated my adolescence and was glad to get out of high school asap.

Does anybody have any experience in dealing with these strong feelings towards your T's kids? How to stop? Does it go away eventually?
I know it's part of my maternal transference. I can't tell my T I hate her kids though. I mean, that's an awful thing to say.

Thanks in advance for any input.