Rant away, Jane! I know i would be in your situation. Ranting, crying, freezing, freaking out, feeling abandoned and angry and hurt and vulnerable - it's all okay and it all makes sense.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this and i hope your T understands how painful and difficult it is for you and is supportive. Can you email him some of the hurt and angry thoughts and feelings? It doesn't matter if what you write doesn't make sense, or if it feels rant-y (if he's a good T, he'll be expecting that) maybe just getting a tiny little bit of it out there, to him, will help to dial it down a notch and give you a little bit of breathing space.

Thinking of you.